10 Ways to Be an Unforgettable Hook Up

If you want to give a new guy the best sex he's ever had, master the Cosmo sex positions, learn these bad-girl sex tricks, find out how to make condoms more fun, and don't follow any of these 10 pieces of advice.

By Zoe Ruderman

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1. Ask if he's cool with you putting on some female-friendly porn in the background. Pause for his thrilled reaction. Then pop in The Notebook.
2. While kissing, pull away and say, "Have you ever seen the MTV special on Furries? Yeah, me neither. But you would make the cuuutest panda!"
3. Before hooking up, shave his initials into your lady jungle. Or better yet, get vajazzled and request his monogram in Swarovski crystals.
4. As he's rolling on the condom, look lovingly into his eyes and whisper, "By the way, this is my first time." When he gets a freaked out look on his face, say, "Oh no, that's not what I mean! I've been with tons of guys. I just meant it's my first time using protection."
5. Then right after he finishes, reach over and pull a pregnancy test out your nightstand, say "Fingers crossed!" with a big smile on your face then run to the bathroom.
6. Immediately following penetration, shout out, "Yes! I beat that woman who wanted to be a Samantha!"
7. Stop every minute or so to live blog and Tweet the experience. Use the tag #IThinkHesTheOne.
8. Instead of shouting out his name in ecstasy, use your own name.
9. While on top, wonder aloud if the fact that you've broken six guys' penises is just a coincidence or has something to do with your bouncing technique.
10. Tell him you've never read Cosmo. Watch as he's overcome with disappointment.
PLUS: See more hilarious dating tips in the video below!