You can have the best sex life
ever. It's not rocket science, which means anyone can be good at it,
and we can all keep improving our skills. In fact, this is part of a
married person’s job because good sex is part of the foundation of a
good marriage. Here are 10 ways – from the basic to the more advanced –
to spice things up:
1. Talk to your spouse more.
In addition to talking about sex and sharing your sexual fantasies, you and your husband or wife should talk more in general. Improving your communication
and speaking with one another more frequently will make you feel closer
to one another. That will make you more intimate and probably less inhibited in the bedroom – or wherever you prefer to make love.
2. Spend more time on foreplay.
Sex should be something to which you look forward. Foreplay
is what gets you excited and anticipating the main event. It doesn’t
have to be limited to the 15 minutes before you’d like to have sex. You
could start the day with sexy text messages (think MMS with a revealing
photo or an e-mail expressing how hot your husband looked as you both
left for work).
3. Get better at oral sex.
Foreplay often ends with both partners performing oral sex
on one another. Sometimes, people take oral sex for granted, but it can
be quite pleasurable and can really put people, especially women, in
the mood for sex. When performing cunnilingus
on a woman, men should refrain from making jabbing movements with their
tongue. Slower, softer movements are usually better. Women, while performing fellatio
on a man, should of course keep their teeth away from the man’s penis
and use their lips and tongue instead. Both men and women who are
performing oral sex should use their hands to enhance the experience.
Let your partner lead you with directions, so you know what he or she
prefers.
4. Try new positions.
This
might seem like an obvious tip, but you’d be surprised by the number of
married people who get stuck in a rut by performing the same combination
of positions over and over again. There is more to sex than missionary
and woman on top. You might try reverse cowboy or doggy style or a move
you have seen on TV – or anything Sting has talked about doing. The
point is to try a new sexual position and see if you and your husband or wife enjoy it.
5. Climax at the same time.
Reaching orgasm
at the same time is easier said than done. But if the woman can orgasm
(it’s usually more difficult for her) and she gives her husband fair
warning that it’s about to happen, he might be able to reach orgasm with
her. This intensifies the moment and truly has the two of you feeling
like one (not to mention feeling like porn stars). In the end, you’ll
probably collapse into each others' arms from exhaustion – and have the
best sleep ever.
6. Dress for sex all the time.
Wearing sexy lingerie
or silk boxers (or nothing at all) underneath your work clothes or
sweats even will help you feel sexy and a little naughty. This will put
you in the mood for sex and throughout the day will have you
anticipating the moment you finally get to have sex. It will also serve
as a lovely surprise as your husband or wife undresses you. White cotton
granny panties, after all, can really kill the mood.
7. Be spontaneous.
While some people have to schedule sex
to make sure it happens, there is something exhilarating about having
sex with your partner unexpectedly. If your husband is in the bathroom
getting ready for work and you rub against him, push him against the
wall, and give him a kiss and it leads to sex right then and there,
you’ll both start the day with a smile. Some couples even enjoy sex in public places.
But that can get risky because if you get caught, it’s against the law.
Your couch or the kitchen table in the middle of the day are better
alternatives.
8. Use toys or lubricant to enhance the experience.
There’s nothing wrong with bringing a vibrator to bed with you or getting KY Jelly to make sex less painful
or simply more stimulating. Some couples enjoy browsing at sex shops
together to find items that would improve their sex life. Everything
from chocolate body paints to whips and chains is available these days,
and with your husband or wife you shouldn’t feel embarrassed. But you
should discuss what kinds of things would appeal to both of you and
neither of you should feel forced to participate if you’re not
comfortable.
9. Indulge in quickies.
In this crazy world, you don’t always have time for marathon sex. That doesn’t mean you should go without. A great quickie
on your lunch hour or just before leaving for work can leave you
feeling refreshed and satisfied. Ladies, who have trouble reaching
orgasm with a quickie, can still find pleasure in the sex and the
closeness that they feel to their husband.
10. When in doubt, return to the basics.
There is a certain level of comfort and pleasure that comes with vanilla sex
– your run of the mill married sex. You shouldn’t be ashamed if that
works for you. When your sex life seems to be stuck or you feel like
you’re trying too hard, you should return to the basics – the positions
and foreplay that have always worked for your husband or wife and you.
If it ain’t broke, after
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