The Easiest Way To Prevent A BreakUP

Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the truth. Do the right thing because it is right. These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity. ”

Plain and simply, we are a culture conditioned to want to be in a relationship. We are taught by many forces and in many ways that being a part of a “we” is better than being just a “me.” We are bombarded by clichés like the “finding our other half will complete us.” And none of these are bad things; we’ll be the first to admit that being in a healthy, thriving relationship – rocks! However, just because you WANT a relationship, doesn’t mean you are READY for one. And the easiest way to prevent heartbreak is to not haphazardly enter a relationship in the first place.
Being in a relationship is a big responsibility. No, make that HUGE. After all, it is about commitment and commitment is no joke. It is about dedicating your time and your emotional energy to someone else, to a partnership and to yourself in a new way. It isn’t like buying a new sweater that you can decide you like when you try it on at the store but then when you get it home and try it on with your wardrobe and in different lighting, change your mind and just return it. The sweater won’t be impacted by a change of heart, but a partner can be… and so too can you. Sure we all remember the 4th grade boyfriend who lasted three days or the high school sweetheart to whom we were unwaveringly loyal, until that new girl came to town. But now, you are a grown-up and grown-ups aren’t relationship fickle – they think thoughtfully before they commit.
So, before you enter a “we,” even if only for a little while, make sure you consider if not only the guy/girl you are dating is boyfriend/girlfriend material, but consider if YOU are really ready to be half of that “we.” Essentially… you’ve got to examine your own red flags! And yes, we all have them. Be sure you are ready to do what it takes to be a GREAT girlfriend/boyfriend to your prospective girlfriend/boyfriend, to be a GREAT member of a possible partnership and to still be able to maintain your individuality. Be sure you are a rocking “me”! Remember, entering your relationship is not as simple as impulsively buying a sweater… there ARE strings attached.
To get your thinking started, here are 7 signs that you are NOT ready to be in a relationship:
1.       You’ve got relationship fever. If you are considering a relationship because Spring has hit and Summer is around the corner – because it is getting hot and steamy outside and the idea of someone to wrestle in the sand with and gaze at sunsets sounds… – because it is wedding season and the idea of a perma-date sounds sweet…DO NOT ENTER A RELATIONSHIP… rally your friends together for weekly barbecues and use those weddings as a reminder of why it is good to wait!
2.      You picked someone because you are the last single one standing. If you are considering a relationship because you are tired of checking off “1” on invitations or of being the single person at dinner parties who everyone is dying to hear fabulous stories that they can vicariously live through but you are plain out of them, and this guy/girl could be a decent seat filler… DO NOT ENTER A RELATIONSHIP… sign up for online dating and fill those seats with gorgeous new options instead.
3.      You foresee a relationship schedule. If you are considering a relationship but you imagine it to be on your terms, meaning that you want to see him/her when you want to but not when you don’t want to, this is code for ‘you’re not that into him/her…’ and consequently, should NOT ENTER A RELATIONSHIP… instead you probably need a good ol’ fashioned booty call.
4.      You can think of at least one thing you would hide from him/her. If you are considering a relationship but already know going into it that you’ve got either a deep, dark secret or you intend to keep your online dating profile up “just in case,” or you will never let him know you binge out on ice cream for dinner 3 nights a week… DO NOT ENTER A RELATIONSHIP… instead spend time with people who you can be your fabulous self with, without hiding and keep on dating until you find someone you are so comfortable with that you can show all of your true colors to (and, of course, cancel your online dating memberships for).
5.       You’d rather spend time with friends, family, doing work, working out, etc. If you are considering a relationship with someone you don’t make much time for, just the bare minimum… DO NOT ENTER A RELATIONSHIP… instead fill your days up with things that you can’t get enough of!
6.      Your pro list is all about you. If you are considering a relationship with someone and the reasons for it all benefit you and not him/her… DO NOT ENTER A RELATIONSHIP… instead, start considering not only what you need in a relationship, but what you have to offer as well.
7.       You still think about your ex. If you are considering a relationship with someone but thoughts of your ex swirl about in your mind and/or your heart… DO NOT ENTER A RELATIONSHIP… instead “he/she-tox” yourself of your ex, freeing yourself of what was, so that you can move upwards towards something new, cleanly.
The point is that if you can prevent a breakup by not entering a relationship when you aren’t relationship ready, you should. Be honest enough with yourself to know that now may not be your time for a relationship. And then be honest enough with the guy/girl on your arm to let him go before you break his/her precious little heart. Although right now might not be your time for partner love, that doesn’t mean it won’t be soon… and remember, dating is love’s greatest teacher, so enjoy your dating experiences as they prepare you for the great responsibility of a breakup-proof relationship!